The present you has to be in your hands, Gummorning
We are all our own teacher in the school of Life
Don't fall for the threat with flowers on it
But always choosing silence?
Silence punishes the honest
Silence trains people to ignore you
Silence tries to postpone your peace
Trauma's game is to keep you living in past rooms
Don't watch the clock, do what it does. Keep going, go with time. Past doesn't exist except in your memory, Don't let it hurt your present.
Past is not a living thing - Sadhguru
You are bigger than your doubts, insecurities, fears, your yesterday.
You Own yourself. Your past doesn't own you. Your guilt doesn't own you. NO ONE OWNS YOU.
Sit with your feelings… but don’t build a house there. If you stay in past, all it does is quietly take away what you still have, i.e., your present.
Guilt can feel like responsibility, but after a point, it stops being useful and starts becoming punishment as it already is. What happened as part of your story, is not your identity. You are not meant to stay stuck in one chapter just because it was painful or imperfect. Also, constantly putting yourself down doesn’t make you more accountable it just makes it harder for you to become better.
If you are broken. It’s okay. That’s how the light comes in, allow it.
As Dr. Jehangir says, "Do not let the past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future. You’ve already paid enough for what’s gone. At some point, holding on stops being responsibility and starts becoming self-harm”
Bajrangbali is with you.
Have a gracious day ahead as we are under his warmth.
Z
Today is for me,
The Sunrise was not at 5:39 am
It was at 7:21 am
There is me who carries music with me, and lately it got Life.
Expression of Art happens only when the Art has life and it comes from heart, yes Art will save the world, so does you.
Your Art saved a life.
As I am in aww and joy, I will carry this.
It just didn't make me happy, it also made me emotional, as my eyes watered to my cheeks and I cant describe any more as I just want to keep it.
The physical pain one goes through this process is always ignored and only the output is glorified many a times. As I always feel devotion with this art form, I fold my hands and pray to god to multiply your blessings and make you one of his greatest child with abundance.
With lots of spiritual gratitude, prayers and warmth,
Thenkyouu
B
Learning starts when certainty ends
To the One who wears destruction not as anger, but as the courage to end what no longer deserves to live within us i.e., fear, weakness, doubts, guilt and misery.
And may He leave within us - a calm mind, a fearless soul, a stronger tomorrow,
and the strength to walk through life without bowing down to darkness pretending there is light.
As the moon He wears was once broken too, yet it still stands and shines and never pretends.
IN HIM WE BELIEVE
as Jambavan reminded him:
“You are not the regrets of your past.
You are the strength that still exists beyond them.”
Milestones need not be loud, they can be quite too as you paint your own canvas of life
You can be the King Kong bangin' on your chest
You can beat the world, you can win the war
You can talk to God, go banging on his door
You can throw your hands up, you can beat the clock
You can move a mountain, you can break rocks
Some will call that practice, some will call that luck
But either way you're going to the history books
And the world's gonna know your name
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame
And the world's gonna know your name
And you'll be on the walls of the Hall of Fame
Be politicians, be preachers, yeah (yeah)
Be believers, be leaders
Be astronauts, be champions
Be truth seekers
Be students, be teachers
Be politicians, be preachers, yeah (yeah)
Be believers, be leaders
Be astronauts, be champions
And the world's gonna know your name"
We become what we believe, and in him we believe
Today
Where Silence Started Breathing...
Dear Me
Zomraday!
It was around 3:30 pm at office and feeling very less anxious after a busy day (making up for the last friday leave meetings)
Was smiling for no reason and suddenly this song popped in my mind.
The kind that comes when your heart feels safe, full, and quietly happy.
Past Baggage, Future Doubts
A one liner which which hits hard is -
Crying is Not a weakness, its metabolism. The body processing what the mind has been carrying alone
Most of our questions intersect with -
Everything is hard (== self - prejudice)
will any of this work (== self - doubt)
Can I even keep doing this (== self - destruction starts here)
What if I am already too late? (== quietly fear tripping)
It will never happen. (== giving up)
What if I can do? (== quiet and soft steps in light)
Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.
Not every cage has iron bars as a prison. Some are made of self-doubt, grief, and fear. The hardest part is not escaping them but realizing you deserved the LIFE all along. YOUR LIFE
Most sustainable version for anyone is to feel safe at any cost, any cost.
Somewhere off all the fear, exhaustion, and unfinished stories,
there is still a version of us
trying gently to believe
that peace is possible
Hold that version of you carefully
They are the one leading you home
Tomorrow is a blank page, that fear keeps trying to write before you arrive there.
Breath!
Hold!
Smile!
నవ్వితే ఏం అవుద్ది…
కొన్ని గాయాలు కనీసం, ఒక్క క్షణమైనా నొప్పి మర్చిపోతాయి
Have a blessed Bajrangabali Day!
Let me tell a Kutti Story
A little bird lived in a cage with a broken door.
For a long time, it never tried to leave.
Not because it loved the cage, but because it had forgotten the sky.
One day, it stood near the door.
The next day, it placed one foot outside.
Then another.
It did not fly immediately.
But slowly, the bird realized, it does not always begin with flying but it begins with the courage to take one small step out.
And many a times, healing is exactly that.
Not a grand escape.
Not becoming fearless overnight.
Just moving your heart one quiet inch closer to peace each day until one morning, you realize you are no longer only surviving there, you are growing beyond it.
Past doesn’t hold the power to define you
hey!
One small step at a time
Exactly the way you've been doing it
You are not required to set yourself on fire for the comfort of those who refused to grow.
You are not required to set yourself on fire for the comfort of those who refused to grow.
You are not required to set yourself on fire for the comfort of those who refused to grow.
"I'm allowed to take up space, set limits, and change my mind. I don't have to earn the right to exist"
One day
maybe not soon,
but one day,
you're going to wake up on an ordinary thursday
and
realize you haven't thought about any of this in a while
the past,
the guilt,
the fears,
they'll have quietly moved to a shelf in the back of your mind instead of the front
they won't be gone
they'll just be done and tired running the show for enough times.
That day is coming
it doesn't need a deadline
you're walking toward it
whether you can feel it or not
Go GIRL
FIND SPINE AND WORDS, DECIDE VOLUME OF YOUR EXPANSE
dearzomrade is here whenever -
For the easy days,
the hard ones,
the small questions,
the big ones.
Anytime, no clock nothing.
Be your Thursday be Blessed.
Against everything, is one of the most courageous things humans can do
A New morning for
Building something real,
slowly,
on top of something painful,
that's not common, Its healing
Its Life
And still, after everything, the heart learns sunlight again
It’s what you do right now that makes a difference
Just keep doing
Even on silent days,
we are here
to stand up
against all odds.
You might be thinking something or someone is scaring you, but you are the ones who is actually scared irrespective and that gives the external factor a way to try to plant the fear.
And if you ever fear that you are “too much” or “too damaged” for peace, or softness or any warmth
please also remember,
someone like me who is wounded looked at you and felt safe and safe and safe.
Sometimes even being weird with you feels peaceful, Thank you for the safe bubble and all.
Happy "Content" Friday
My Light
I was crying that day
Complaining over past
Complaining over the present
Complaining over the presumed Future
I was exploited over my childhood, never have I ever knew what a safe space is.
Always I used to feel afraid and I built a very strong wall of social anxiety which never exposed my pain to anyone, I was very fragile inside and in my washrooms as no one could notice.
I used to be very congested, unrestful, I used to express my opinions unwantedly just to keep my fears unnoticed, just to keep myself out of anxiety of being left out, I wanted people, I wanted love, I wanted to be seen, I craved.
I used to top all exams to make sure I am being seen, I felt loved when success is with me, appreciations overflew all the time, it has become a habit. and
It was my dream planted when I was 13, by the social teacher to pursue civils. I felt chosen. Finally.
Time was again bad, people enforced their likes and goals on me which was very suffocating, and consciously I started tasting downfall and failures academically, personally, as people started treating me as just a piece of shit, failure. It was normalized and my dreams were fully compromised stating that I could be able to do that.
People talk to you so very casually, You will carry the scars forever. I am sorry for people as they choose only to hurt us and feel it as their Right.
Over the years I was fully abandoned, with my health issues, untold and unseen anxieties, childhood trauma, unavailable parents, emotional unsafety, I got to get a Job to prove my worthiness. I got it and all of a sudden people started owning me. This time I never liked this pattern. I hated people for liking me just because of what I got now.
Isolated myself from everyone, pretended I was busy, worked days and nights to just escape reality. Until severe depression hit me with added health anxieties.
I lost my life couple of times, I forgot to live, I forgot to smile in real, I forgot everything, I only remember my past, my fears, my triggers, my failures, as they became my identity.
I was in my all time highest low of my life. Felt to give up on my second time. This time I didn't have the courage I had earlier, I am tired.
I had to attend another important health event in my life, as usual no one beside me.
I Ran from all people and came back to my walls which I have built.
Started depressing over things, used to take psychedelic medications, never got care, nothing, no one knows and want to know my existence.
Did I ask too much?
Don't I deserve a little?
And then
Light entered,
It was not just Light, its Life back to me
As I write, I cant control my tears.
The Light started looking up on me, what I am up to, used to hold me over my saddest nights, through my hard nightmares, all through the dark.
Maybe light never realizes what it means to me. But the people it quietly saved, warmed up, and brough back to life, they know what it really did.
I was complaining one day to the Light as usual about why I want to give up on life. It said one at a time. I started to tell my story, not all but one after the other, as I never had the courage to tell my story as I felt people would judge me, they will ignore me, they will use it against me.
One day I said about my childhood exploitation. I felt safe, I felt really home, I felt really really personal. Past can never be undone, It will be with you. Light held me after listening to it, I remember I was crying, Light also shred its tears with me. I never wanted answers or solutions, I wanted to be seen, I was seen. I was revived. I was back into life.
One day after another I used to complain all things to Light, until a Day I told about my civils anxiety and why I could never do it, I feel loser all my life because I feel very deserved to be there. I love to serve people, I love to make meaning things for people, I don't want people to suffer. I want to live and die meaningfully.
Light asked me a question: What did you do for it? Ignore all the circumstances and factors around you. Just tell me WHAT DID YOU DO?
It hit me hard;
I started thinking about it. Yes! I did nothing other than complaining.
Why cant I accept my failure?
Why cant I accept my incompetence?
I felt I need to put an end to this.
I applied
For my FIRST and LAST Union Public Service Commission - Civils Common Entrance 2026 PRELIMS.
I will attempt
I will not look for the result
I will just put an end to my anxiety
My words may never fully express what Light has done to me,
but Light can proudly say
it gave a broken man the courage to feel alive again and again.
Safe feel karne ke liya pehle saare dar mitana zaroori hai
I don't fear failures now as I feel safe.
You are my Light
I have lot of unhealed traumas still left, but this one surely I could say -
I DID IT
I DID OVERCOME MY UPSC TRAUMA
Thanks to my Light
This is my second life, may be third
I owe my rest of life for sure
I am emotionally overjoyed as I complete this writeup
The best way to predict future is by creating it
Manifest and act as if it has already happened,
It happens for sure, for sure
Wounds,
Storytelling
Past can be undone
Human Tone,
Energy within us
a day
Right to Forgive?
They arrested Dhara singh and other Mob
Only the next step/s
Many people become overwhelmed because they feel they were meant to light the whole road. They were only meant to keep walking. When you try to hold all of it, the weight isn't pain. It's prediction. It's the future you haven't lived yet, demanding you to get afraid tonight. No one is strong enough to carry tomorrow's darkness on top of today's.
Living and Surviving
We cant let them win!
You are is not the mistakes your mind keeps returning to.
Beneath the doubt, the guilt, and the old stories, there is still a part of you that is alive. That part is real, and it has never left.
Taking steps backward does not erase the steps already taken forward. Sometimes the mind returns to familiar places because they feel known, not because they are where we belong.
Familiarity can feel okay, even when it hurts. But what is familiar is not always what is good for us.
It is okay to be tired of carrying the same weight. It is okay to wish things had gone differently. Yet the past does not need to be fixed before life can move forward. It has already had its time.
It does not need to keep taking up space in every tomorrow.
Guilt often tries to convince us that we must keep suffering to prove we have learned.
But growth is not measured by how long we hurt.
Sometimes growth is simply choosing, again and again, to be a little kinder to ourselves.
Starting over is not failure.
Returning after a difficult day, a difficult week, or even a difficult year is its own kind of courage.
The willingness to keep trying says far more about a person than any setback ever could.
There is nothing wrong with moving slowly.
There is nothing wrong with resting.
Healing is rarely a straight path, and it does not have to be.
The weight does not have to be dropped all at once.
It can be set down a little at a time.
One breath.
One step.
One gentle moment of self awareness.
And for today, that is enough.
When a snake bites, the body's reaction is immediate. The pain, the swelling, the inflammation, they happen quickly.
The treatment, however, does not work the same way.
Snake Anti Venom (SAV) is often given through an IV infusion through saline, slowly entering the bloodstream. I
t takes time to circulate, time to reach where it is needed, and time for the body to respond.
The healing process cannot be rushed simply because the injury happened quickly.
Sometimes our wounds are also like that.
The hurt may arrive all at once, but healing rarely does.
It often happens quietly, beneath the surface, in ways that are difficult to notice day by day.
Progress can feel invisible until one day you realize that something which once consumed you no longer holds the same power.
Healing is supposed to take time.
Real time.
Gentle time.
So if you are moving slowly, that does not mean you are moving wrong.
If some days feel heavier than others, that does not mean you are back at the beginning.
Trust the process, even when you feel nothing is in your hands.
And most importantly, don't doubt yourself because healing isn't happening fast enough.
The fact is that you are up, still trying, and you can.
EEROJU
for now,
Today is the most important day in the history of world
because, its the latest day
and its the only day which will not appear again
as of today, there is no tomorrow yet
This day will not come around again
a smile today is worth the millions in the tomorrow
all one does today will count for more today than all that was mapped of twenty years to come
as of today, there is no tomorrow yet
When one step is taken, one step is completed. When you begin, its half done.
There are no accidents of destiny. The big thing to be is the little things to do - today
as of today, there is no tomorrow yet
It takes greater courage to decide to do a thing than it does to do a thing
face it
today
a sunday
this day will not dawn again
happy sunday :-))
formula created for ALL to get the day = (a*b)+b+1000
a = day of the year
b = constant
bajrangabali will heal
Sometimes we need to go through the worst to get the best
art can save the world
art will save the world
art is not just an expression, its divine
you are an art
as you read this
you survived it all alone
I can smell it
You have done this before aswell
You rised again today
Like a Sun,
the Light
Light doesnt understand its true relevance
it underestimates itself a lot
it makes sure it has lot of doubts
it allows a lot of thoughts in to it
but it also allows it to stand
Like you did
You, the light
Sometimes we don't have the perfect words.
I'm not going to tell you to just be strong or reach for some cliché.
We may not have answers all the time.
But...
wait.
We do know something.
The person I know doesn't gets down that easily,
bends,
rests,
takes the weight of the storm,
and then rises
also says - Bhaypadaku Chuskundam
Like you rised today
in
the morning,
Happy Guruvaram, btw its not March okati its june padakondu
(worlds worst joke, please smile)
ITS COMPLETELY OKAY
Wishing a full day of courage, today,
VepuduRoju.
(Fryday, please forgive for this kullu joke, but please keep smiling)
dearzomrade editor truly regrets and is ashamed for what has happened and said
Using wounding words are the best people can do
People use few words to weaponize the shame, because shame is the only leash they have left
Ending partnership is not wrong
Leaving an abusive partner by taking care monetarily, after giving everything is not wrong
Not leaving them is wrong
Pretending to stay when you've already abandoned yourself is wrong
If we don't leave them they may carry curse for hurting knowingly or unknowingly
someone said: "If it's written, it will happen"
Fate is what tired people reach for when they don't have the strength to choose.
It's a way of stepping out of agency without having to take responsibility for stepping out, its a pattern of learning helplessness
Say no to psycho-sexual abuse, its their weapon. Knowing you are not into them and still forcing is also called ___.
If you cannot say no today
you can never say NO
You have been carrying too much by now, its not okay to carry more and its too much
If you choose to suffer
and find peace with suffering, even an open door will look like a wall.
wont I deserve the same?
Yes I too and I will (Thanks for motivating people to live with suffering and normalizing that its absolutely okay)
Every Today is an Opportunity.
i
am blank
with
shame
"You lose yourself more than once
You find yourself more than once
Thats the journey
To forget
To remember
To Begin Again" - anonymous quote
Dont let your 27 years blackmail your next next 27+ years - Dr Jehangir Khan
We don't have to arrive empty or full . We just need to arrive.
Life has left a lot for us to work on instead of analyzing on, lets invest it there.
Lets heal the world.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you
I know people become afraid of love, baitanunchi oche prema ante bhayapadtam
It's hard to trust love from outside when the love they expected at home was never a safe place,
And when someone from the outside hurts them too, they begin to question the whole idea of love itself.
But I want you to know this -
You don't have to carry everything alone
You need me, and I need you
I am here for you, and I will continue to be here for you
Nenu neeku unna... untanu.
Whatever it takes, we'll figure it out together
I don't want to possess you, control you, or keep you in a cage.
Instead I'll look out for you, stand by you, and walk through it with you.
Dear Z,
I am here.
I have been here, and I will be here
I will lead when you need me to, even though you are the leader I admire
Trust this once, ra not me blindly, but the process
Take all the time you need
But don't deny yourself what you have always longed for deep within
Nenu neeku unna... untanu
Whatever comes, we'll face it together
my spirit says: chooskundam
You're right. It's not a fairytale
I'm not selling you a happy ending
I'm just here, on an ordinary Tuesday,
choosing this on purpose
Not because it's magic
Because it's real.
coordinated to - Latitude: 12.829177 / N 12° 49' 45.037'' & Longitude: 80.050051 / E 80° 3' 0.182''
"Why do you keep pushing me away?"
"Because I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Of falling in love."
"Why?"
"Because being vulnerable means giving someone the power to hurt me. And if you leave, I don't know if I can survive that again."
"What if I stay?"
"That's the scary part."
"Why?"
"Because if I believe you, if I trust you, if I let you matter to me, and then you leave anyway... it will hurt more than keeping my distance now."
"But you're hurting already."
"I know."
"Then why not take a chance?"
"Because losing a possibility hurts less than losing something real."
"I understand that."
"You do?"
"Yes. You're not afraid of me. You're afraid of what happens if you trust me."
"Maybe."
"Then let's not worry about forever."
"What do we do instead?"
"We figure it out together."
"You could change your mind."
"What if I don't?"
"I've been hurt before."
"I am not them."
"I'm not going to be easy."
"Neither am I."
"I'm not my best today, and I don't know if I can be tomorrow."
"You don't have to be."
"What if you see all of me and leave?"
"I won't. I'll be honest. That I'll stay while I choose to stay. That I'll never make you earn love by pretending to be someone else. And that if we're going to do this, you'll never have to do it alone."
"...That sounds less scary."
"Good."
"Why?"
"Because I don't need you to stop being afraid."
"Then, What do you need?"
"Just don't let fear make the decision for you."
Yesterday, I spent hours building a puzzle at work.
It was almost done, maybe 80-90%.
I walked away thinking I'd come back today and finish the last few pieces.
Instead, when I came in this morning, someone had taken it apart.
Every single piece was broken brutally.
It had to be built from scratch again.
It's funny but I got hurt.
Anyone who's done a puzzle knows it's not just putting pieces together. It takes patience. Concentration. A little headache and meda noppi as add-on.
You slowly breathe life into something until you can finally see the picture.
When it was gone, I didn't feel angry.
I just felt defeated and exhausted.
Then a colleague walked over and said,
"I'll rebuild it for you."
This time I didn't have to do anything.
I just sat there.
I watched the picture slowly come back together.
I didn't place the pieces.
But somehow,
it still felt like my puzzle.
Because I was the one who started it.
I was the one who wanted to see it complete.
And while I was sitting there, I realized something.
Sometimes life does the same thing to us.
We spend so much of ourselves building a relationship, a dream, or a future that when it falls apart, we convince ourselves we'll never start again.
Not because we don't want it.
But because we remember how much it hurt to watch it disappear.
Then someone new comes along.
Not to erase the past.
Not to tell us it never happened.
But simply to help rebuild.
And that's the part that's terrifying.
Because if we step in, we risk caring again.
If we believe them, we risk being hurt again.
So we stay back.
We watch from a distance.
We tell ourselves it's safer not to touch the puzzle.
But maybe healing isn't always about rebuilding everything yourself.
Maybe sometimes it's about letting someone else pick up a few pieces while you simply stay.
Maybe trust doesn't begin with certainty.
Maybe it begins by allowing someone to prove, piece by piece, that they're not here to destroy what you're trying to build.
The puzzle still gets completed.
Only this time,
you don't have to carry the whole weight alone.
and yeah on this guruvaram i want to say, Maybe trust doesn't begin with certainty.
If scared, Lets figure it out.
God be with us
and
as I walked away from office, I smiled at the guy who destroyed the puzzle.
Kumar came up today to office,
went to talk to him as he lost his father to cancer last week
so while having the talk to him
he said
I anticipated the grief already but
couldnt sustain and take it in reality
I was thinking about you only when I was in hospital
how did this guy took all this annadu
I kept face at him
something flashed a lot
I completed a talk with him
Told him what I could to console him
and walked straight away to washroom closed the door
poured down
this grief man, though it passed or what ever I dont know I cant control
and came out with red eyes
and just wanted to tell you
Thank you 😊
- griefullsoul
got the courier for spiderman laptop pouch - its cuuutiiee
and suddenly realized I forgot to tell about the art I couriered, oh no
I texted to tell
and unsent the message as I know it would disturb also I dont know why it got delayed this long I did last week itself
and
as I walked into offfice leads walked in and asked to support this weekend to onboard amurtanjan customer base
they said we need you please
I couldnt deny I said I will be there
and probably I know I can handle it
I saw the lunch menu, they had potato deep fry
ok wow
I had the lunch
and yeah the puzzle got completedand I am happy for that atlast
in this phase of defence mechanism, doubts,
it was a war, prabhas said, btw couldnt see him get emotional, man!
yeah its a war
I lately realized something
yeah why tagging this, why these doubts, why wasting time on analysis, why cant we simply talk
like we do
why this distance
already there is a lot of geographic distance
we built walls of protection
we try to protect others from our own uncertainty
sometimes the walls need patience than pressure
and
yeah
song in silence
mouna ragam they say...
we step back because we are afraid of another ending
may be we never know what it means to be loved until the end
we are afraid of knowing that too
saw that apple, hiked its prices for memory chips and the macbook air price went up by 30K from today
ufff
thenkyouu
Post lunch saw lot of kids running and playing in office, then realized yeah today is a school holiday
happy vepudu day and
Muharram Mubarak
and
Blessed anniversary to parents
May God give us health and all
God Bless this world
with
art
with
music
and
with
love
Dear Zindagi!
Sun is Up
so are we
like the sun
we rise
in the
morning light
Happy Weekend
on a typical tuesday where uncertain path is around you
enough battles were fought for someone else, who take them very easily
now it is time to stand for the person who survived all of it.
Healing needs space. Peace needs safety. A wounded heart cannot rebuild itself in the same storm that damaged it.
Nobody becomes a bad person for finally protecting the peace they lost while trying to protect someone else.
A heart that kept adjusting, understanding, forgiving, and waiting may one day start questioning itself -
“Was I asking for too much?”
But perhaps the truer question was never that.
Perhaps it was "Why did I accept so little, for so long?"
by which we question the choices we made, how much we tolerated, how much we bent ourselves for someone
choices we make in life are out of hope and feel to be loved, no need to be ashamed of that
thats what humans are
moon does not lose its glow because someone refuses to look up
not being seen is not the same as not being worthy
be a light
you glow
when you smile
so again
just smile
Wait
still searching
Can’t find that smile anywhere
please check if it’s hiding somewhere
get it back
😀