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l(oops)!

“I don't want anyone.”

“I'm afraid I'll hurt you.”

“I'm a red flag.”

“I'm bad at decisions.”

“Don't worry about me.”

“I don't want a relationship.”

“I feel lonely.”

"I am responsible for everything"

These aren't necessarily calculated contradictions. 
They sound like overwhelm and fears.

You are scared. You dont need to have an answer today. 

When you feel all these flashing - Its just that you are very scared and conflicted with you.

The Anxiety Loop which people have with multiple selves syndrome


Anxious I
"What if something goes wrong?"


Rational I
"As of now, Everything is fine."


Doubting I
"But what if I've missed something?"


Problem-solving I
Starts researching, replaying conversations, seeking reassurance.


Temporary relief
"Okay, I think I'm fine."


Anxious I returns
"Are you sure?"

and the cycle begins again.

a gratitude-guilt loop - 
  1. "I'm privileged. I am better than others"
  2. "So, I shouldn't complain."
  3. "But I'm still anxious."
  4. "Why am I like this?"
  5. "I'm ungrateful."
  6. More guilt.
  7. More anxiety.
  8. Back to: "I'm privileged..."

If we are caught in a loop of self-doubt, 

remember this -

your mind is asking the same questions because it's looking for certainty, 

not because you're incapable. 


You've already overcome things that once felt impossible, 

even if you've forgotten what that version of you looked like. 


Don't let one fearful chapter convince you that it is your whole story. 

You don't have to become someone else to move forward,

you only have to trust the person you've been becoming all along. 


Take one step, then another. Read it again, and do it.


Confidence isn't something you wait for, 


it's something you quietly build every time you choose yourself 

despite the doubt.


Sit with the loop

understand it

dont escape it


A spiral looks like a circle
until we notice it going up vertically like a line.

 

Maybe that's true.. 

We don't become a new person every time life gives us a lot to handle.

 

We simply revisit ourself from a different height into this loop


Every version of us still exists


not to confuse us, 


but to remind how far we've come.


Isn't it called Growth?


Keep a smile as you read this - here, a lot of stories to move us every day. 

Ours will also move us one day. 

We usually want our stories to be unseen, unwritten, but when life is a like a story, it needs to be cheered up. 


Different versions of us is not our story

Mistakes are not our story

Wins are not our story

Losses are not our story

they are just chapters 


Our story is the courage to keep turning the page

Our story is choosing kindness after pain

Our story is finding ourselves after getting lost

Our story is not about being perfect

It is about becoming someone we can meet with peace


Our story was never meant to impress the world


It was meant to help us come home to ourselves


Oo Kathala is what storytellers say,

Oo Kavithala is what poets say,


and somewhere in between we become both 

☺️


Please say Hi to these cuties - here

Enter this Loop - 


https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaelR3XOEz8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


Watch Dear Zindagi Movie full once.

Also please watch Queen movie full once.

This loop, break it - 


https://www.instagram.com/reel/DX3O0e3NR7f/?igsh=MWVlbGVsNWh3Mm13ag==


Sit and watch Girl Friend Movie once full

Sometimes the biggest prison isn't a bad relationship or a bad job. It's the story we keep telling ourselves: "I can't."


A bird doesn't trust the branch because the branch is strong.

It trusts its own wings.

If you spend your life looking for the perfect branch, you'll never discover you already had wings.


Break the LOOPS


No person is bad,

No person is weak to handle their life

Its just how we see them.


Do not loose yourself in the name of relationship or dependence, 

Don't forget yourself in this process,

One day may come, you dont know how to exist, 

you will be in a confused state.

You were in this phase once or twice last year, you are again in the same phase now and you go back to the place which disrespects you again and again.

You will lose yourself one day.


I know a girl who used to like reels - 'Magavaraki dooramuga maguvalepudu nadavalani telusukonave cheli"



a girl says - when GOD opens the door use it - here

a girl in loop - here 

be this - here

1. Disrespect and saying it a joke?

2. Ignoring for hours/days and saying “busy.”
3. Making you feel dramatic for expressing feelings.
4. Comparing you to other women.
5. Not taking accountability, only excuses.
6. Flirting with others and calling it “harmless.”
7. Making you feel guilty for wanting bare minimum effort.
8. Raising voice instead of communicating.
9. Invalidating boundaries as “overreacting.”
10. Making you feel lucky that they chose you.
11. Disappearing when emotionally wounded and just say sorry.
12. Making doubt your self worth wihtout them


to 

You’ve stopped telling people what’s happening.
You feel trapped, but can’t fully explain why.
You’re exhausted, but can’t walk away.
You feel intensely bonded to them, even though they’re hurting you.
Body breaks under the stress… but you keep going. Anxiety, brain fog, exhaustion, hair fall, breakouts.


this is a loop

break them


you are bigger than what you think of yourself

Constant confusion is often the first sign that you’re in an emotionally unsafe relationship. 

Because in an emotionally safe relationship, you question the problem. 

In an abusive one, you question yourself. 

And while you might be confused about how to resolve the problem you’re not chronically confused about what is real and what is not.


The most obvious sign is not harm. It's confusion.

- This disrupts your ability to trust your own experience. 
So you become confused about everything and start relying on the very person who makes you doubt yourself to tell you what's real.

- And this is why it is so hard to name while you're in it. Because if you can't trust your interpretation of reality, you can't fully trust your conclusion about what's happening to you.

Without that trust, even obvious harm becomes something you are willing to negotiate. We are okay with Abuse as we tell ourself.


- But even when there is conflict, when you're emotionally safe, you're not left questioning your own reality. You're left questioning the problem.


Body speaks. 

Body tells. 

Body is honest and sincere and intelligent too. 

But, we are so used to listening to our mind. And mind starts playing all these tricks.


Break these trickful patterns 

Why we keep getting attached to people who are not right for us, why this loop?


- YOU'RE NOT CHOOSING THEM. YOU'RE CHOOSING THE FEELING AND MEMORIES AND HELPLESSNESS TO JUST SURVIVE.

The wrong people don't always look wrong in the beginning.
They make you feel seen, wanted, or, important.
You become attached to the feeling they create, not the consistency they offer.
That's why the attachment grows before the truth becomes obvious.

- YOU KEEP FALLING FOR POTENTIAL
You don't see people as they are. You see who they could become.
Potential keeps you waiting.
Reality keeps showing you who they already are.
The longer you choose potential, the longer you delay your own peace.

- ATTENTION ISN'T THE SAME AS COMMITMENT
Anyone can give attention. Very few people offer consistency.
When attention feels like love, you overlook the absence of real commitment.
That's how emotional attachment begins.

- YOU IGNORE PATTERNS THAT DON'T MATCH YOUR INSTINCT
One apology erases ten disappointments.
One good day makes you forget months of inconsistency.
Hope keeps rewriting the story.
Reality keeps repeating the same chapter.
Believe the pattern, not the promise.

- THE WRONG PEOPLE STAY BECAUSE YOU KEEP MAKING SPACE
Every time you excuse disrespect ...
Accept mixed signals ...
Or fall for their needs ...
You teach people how little they have to do to keep you around.
Your actions and standards decide who stays in your life.

- STOP CHASING WHAT KEEPS CHOOSING DISTANCE
You don't need to prove your value to someone who keeps making you question it.
If someone wants to be in your life, consistency won't feel like a struggle.
The moment you stop chasing, you start seeing people clearly.

- THE WRONG PEOPLE DON'T BECOME RIGHT BECAUSE YOU LOVE OR KEEP THEM WITH YOU.
They become easier to walk away from when your self-respect becomes stronger than your attachment.
You stop settling. You stop waiting.
You stop trying to earn love that should come freely.
That's when emotional freedom begins.

- DETACH WITHOUT CHASING
You don't have to hate them. You don't have to prove a point.
You simply stop running after them.
Because real detachment isn't about making someone miss you.
It's about making your peace more important than their attention.

More we stay, we save P2(ankta) from this, but best thing about this loop is everyone is comfortable with what people do to them, because they assume this is how everyone is treated and I should be ok with what I have. P1, P2, Pn.. everyone will adjust their lives and change their lives for these people but they will never change and just keep on switching options where the control is easy.

there is a small line crossing to be a survivor and be a victim, the line is physical proximity
here is a post  with comments full of survivors - here and here

Loop is the impossible task of convincing yourself, 

1. It feels like carrying the pain alone

2. It feels like you're carrying two completely different relationships

3. It feels like swallowing your anger

4. It feels like confusion

5. It feels like you're playing a role you never auditioned for

6. It feels like shame and guilt

7. It feels like you're carrying the truth alone

8. It feels like helplessness 

9. Independence looks like a burden

Please break the patterns
Please break the loops
beg you

Loop, loop, loop

1. Justifying the Behavior: You find yourself rationalizing their hurtful actions, thinking, “They don’t really mean it” or “It’s just a bad day.”

2. Avoiding Conflict: You often find yourself walking on eggshells around topics to avoid upsetting them.

3. Consistent Guilt and Shame: You feel guilt and shame often on your actions and feelings.

4. Isolation: You notice a growing distance between you and your friends or family, often feeling like you can’t share your true experiences.

5. Hiding Feelings or Problems: You feel compelled to suppress your emotions or hide your struggles from others.

6. Difficulty Asking for Help: You feel uncomfortable reaching out for support, even when you’re clearly struggling. You think, “I don’t want to bother them” or “I should be able to handle this on my own.”

7. Wearing Multiple Caps: You show up as the partner, friend, assistant, and cheerleader leaving little room for your own needs.

8. Changing Yourself: You often find yourself altering your behavior or beliefs to accommodate your partner.

9. Fear and Anxiety of Leaving: You stay because of the potential of the relationship wondering, “What if I’m wrong?” or “What if he changes?”

10. Feeling Like a Burden: You feel your needs are a burden to others or that they are less important.

finally anxiety, depression, a lack of trust within yourself, and a diminished sense of self.

Never accept jokes or comments on dress, body, family, your friends, their friends, dont even laugh alongside those.
disrespect comes in the form of jokes
----
A pattern we fall for - 
1. THEY MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN WHO NEVER EXISTED.
He studies what she needs, then becomes it.
He doesn't show her who he is.
He shows her who she would never leave.
Because he already knows:
When the mask slips, she won't leave.
She'll fight to get that man back.

2. THEY USE HER EMPATHY AGAINST HER.
Every time he hurts her, there's an explanation.
He's stressed. His childhood was difficult.
She gives understanding, when she should've set boundaries.
So she stays.

3. THEY TEACH HER THAT LOVE MEANS ADJUSTING.
Little comments or a joke about her appearance, of the way she speaks.
"I'm only trying to help."
"Don't take everything so personally."
Nothing feels serious enough to leave over.
So she changes one little thing. Then another. Then another.

4. THEY WEAPONIZE GUILT.
Good news at work? Silent treatment.
She has a great time out with friends? "You've changed."
Her dreams start feeling selfish.
Her hobbies feel irresponsible.
So she chooses him. Again. And again.

5. THEY TAKE AWAY THE PARTS OF HER THAT MADE HER STRONG.
"You don't have to work."
"I never asked you to work."
"I'll take care of everything, I am your protection layer."
"Take care of the kids"
It sounds caring. Until she realizes,
she no longer has her own income. Her own confidence.
He didn't just take her independence.
He made her believe she didn't need it.
So leaving starts to feel impossible.

6. THEY REPLACE HER CONFIDENCE WITH SELF-DOUBT.
Every decision is questioned. Every opinion corrected. Every success minimized.
"Do you think this looks okay?"
"Do you think I should?"
"Did you think about it?"
"Are you sure?"
She no longer trusts her own voice. She trusts his.
So she stays.

And one day, she disappears.
She can't remember what she likes, what she wants, who she was before him.

The tragedy isn't that you loved too much.
It's that someone taught you to pour all of that love into the wrong person,
until there was none left for yourself.

Its never too late
never too late

---
Another Love letter by a healed person -

For years, I thought you broke me or I broke you.

Now I realize you exposed every wound I hadn’t healed yet.

You found the part of me that believed love had to be earned.

The part that confused loyalty with self-abandonment.

The part that kept giving chances to people who kept giving excuses.

And for a while, I blamed myself.

Until I learned something you never wanted me to learn:

No amount of love can heal someone who benefits from your lack of boundaries.

The harder I fought for your love, the further I drifted from myself.

Until one day, losing myself became more painful than losing you.

That’s when everything changed.

You taught me that self-love isn’t a feeling.

It’s a boundary.

It’s walking away from what hurts, even when you love it.

It’s choosing your peace over someone’s potential.

So thank you.

Not for the pain.

Not for the lessons I never asked for.

But for forcing me to finally choose the one person who had been waiting for me all along

i.e.,

Myself.

---

Unless and until one can live alone,
no God can save us, 
Even Gods isolate themselves for deeksha
its 2026
I know a women, wanting exactly all these and an opportunity until other person have a job, but are doing
things differently 
her every tomorrow is confused for her words and manifestations yesterday.
God be with us.
---

A love letter a healed women can write after self loving them - 

You hurt me.
Deeply.
With your words.
With your silence.
With your coldness.
With your control.

I wanted to save you.
To love you.
To be strong for you.
And in doing so, I lost myself.

I kept asking myself:
Am I too sensitive?
Too weak?
Not enough?

Today I know:
I was not too little.
I was too much for your fear.
Too honest for your mask.
Too real for your game.

You made me feel small
because you were afraid of being small yourself.
You controlled me
because you wanted to hide your own insecurity.
You left me
because you had already abandoned yourself.

And still:
I thank you.
Because through you, I learned to love myself.
To hold myself.
To save myself.

Today I see clearly:
A real man does not destroy a woman
to feel strong himself.
A real man stays.
Holds space.
Faces things.
Feels.

I hope you find the courage to truly see yourself.
Without lies. Without games.
Because what you did to me -
you do to yourself every single day.

I walked away.
And that was the best thing that could have happened to me.


Thank you for that

and
He won't read it or care. 
If he does read it, he will think you're weak for writing it. 
It's a lose/ lose situation with these guys.
They may not read beyond the first line

Stay silent. Don’t walk, 
but run to your therapists office and get that stank off of you before you accidentally repeat that pattern
patterns are repeating
break them 
break them 
kindly break them

In 2026,
from the greatest nation of the Earth
a person is falling for coercive control is the purest form of Abuse
of
Social control
Dependency reinforcement to cut support systems
known patterns
same person
unable to break them 

Things that would make the situation more worrying:
They decide who you can talk to
You fear consequences if you disagree
You have to “prove” loyalty
Your feelings are dismissed
You lose friends/family/support systems
Past harm is minimized and you feels responsible for fixing everything

thats okay, but todays loops are tomorrows oops
be aware always!, 
for today its okay
but use all the opportunities to break the patterns but not to continue the loop
use oppurtunities
You are an ADULT

1. IT BEGINS WITH FEELING FINALLY UNDERSTOOD.
He gets her. He remembers everything - her fears, her dreams. 
She thinks: "I've never felt this safe."
She doesn't realize: What she shared in trust will later be used against her.

2. THEN SHE BUILDS HER WORLD AROUND HIM.
Slowly, without noticing...
He stops being part of her world.
He becomes her whole world.
She thinks: "This is what real love feels like."
She doesn't realise: He's making sure she has nowhere else to go.

3. THEN THE MAN SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH SLOWLY DISAPPEARS.
Compliments turn to criticism. Warmth turns to distance.
She thinks: "He's just stressed. We'll get back to normal."
She doesn't realize: That version of him was never real.

4. SO SHE STARTS CHANGING HERSELF INSTEAD.
She apologizes more. Need less. Doubt yourself first.
She thinks: "If I'm easier to love, things will go back to how they were."
She doesn't realize: you're abandoning yourself to save it.

5. LITTLE BY LITTLE, HER LIFE GETS SMALLER.
She sees friends less. Stops sharing what's happening. 
She thinks: "I'm just choosing my relationship."
She doesn't realise: She's losing the people and the life that once made her feel like herself.

6. EVENTUALLY, SHE BELIEVES SHE'S THE PROBLEM.
"If I communicate better..."
"If I love him the right way..."
She thinks: "Maybe I'm the reason we're like this."
She doesn't realise: She's trying to fix a relationship that was never broken by her.

7. SLOWLY, SHE LOSES HERSELF.
Her instincts. Her voice. Her independence.
She thinks: "What's happening? I don't even know who I am anymore."
She doesn't realise: Losing herself was never an accident. It was the cost of surviving the abuse.

8. BY NOW, SHE'S TRAPPED.
She isn't staying because she wants to.
She's staying because she no longer believes she can leave.
She thinks: "I don't know how to leave."
She doesn't realise: The moment she sees the pattern is the moment she can begin to break it.

You are not too broken.
You are not too far gone.
And it is never too late to choose yourself.

top 5 best things used against empaths:

1. figure out what a person is insecure about, so that they can be easily influenced 

2. make you feel deeply understood, to use right words at right time with right amount of attention because someone feels understood

3. make sure every conversation ends with second person not them so that the second person can prove it to them always, thier worth, their loyalty, their intentions

because someone when tries to prove themselves, power dynamics change

4. they will never be consistent - enough attention to keep you interested, enough distance to keep you changes, enough scenarios to make you feel you need them

5. most imp, they make empath to feel every decision was theirs and this is the best manipulation because it will never look like control or toxic and it feels like a choice

6. they always stick to present, everything is okay right, we are okay now, our lifes are getting okay now, its only because one has the job, a person wanted to walk away very easily when there is no job for yaa. thats obvious. 

7. they keep on telling, they are the reason for upliftment and the freedom of empaths life and without them nothing is possible by which they expect empath to declare allegiance to them even when they dont want them. 


By the time empath understands this, they start defending this person who tried to destroy them

loop continus 


p.s. their biggest fear is people protecting you, the resources which help empath stand for themself and their life and the day which the empath may heal enough

they need the main source of supply gets closed for that they make themself emotionally vulnerably and make empath feel guilty about this full process

You have seen a lot of these battles, bigger and bigger ones

You will face this too

They say - "The stronger the woman, the longer she stays in a relationship that's slowly breaking her."


Please please take a chance for yourself

not because someone gave you

its not you who speak when you say - they gave me a chance  I am ruining it, no its not you!. You never wanted a chance, NEVER